Coping Ahead

The holidays can be a happy and joyous time for some and a stressful and dreadful time for others. We all experience a level of expectation during the holiday season, yet our own inner expectations can frequently result in added stress, anxiety, and sometimes, even depression. The days ahead are filled with many events, including attending family gatherings, buying the perfect gift for the difficult to please family members, attending church events, attending school events, making sure that all feel included in the holiday festivities, etc. I often hear people express complete exhaustion and dread by the time Christmas comes around, because of the amount of time they’ve spent running around making sure that everything is in order for the big day. Coping ahead of the Christmas holiday events and practicing mindfulness skills can help to alleviate stress and anxiety, which also creates a level of peace during such a busy and often chaotic time. Below are some pointers on coping ahead during this holiday season:

1.)   Reduce personal expectations and work on being more realistic about gift buying, holiday party attendance, holiday travel, etc. Set limitations and communicate with others about what you are able to do and what you are unable to do. Open and honest communication is key to reduce anxiety and stress, particularly as it relates to perceived and real expectations during the holiday season. Open and honest communication is also a great way to set boundaries, which is crucial during the holiday season.

2.)   Have a game plan when spending time with difficult people or when confronted with difficult situations. The holidays are a time for celebration and gathering, which also means that you may have to spend time with family members that can difficult to be around. You may also have to travel or spend time running around to multiple family gatherings. Practice acceptance and work towards being mindful of reactions to triggers when around pesky and annoying family members or when confronted with other stressors. Have a game plan to remove yourself from the room if necessary, take a walk, practice deep breathing, practice gratitude for the challenging personality you’ve encountered, and work on reducing reactions by focusing on something positive. Grounding exercises can be helpful when around difficult people and situations. I encourage my client to focus on self-soothing through their 5 senses to reduce their urge to react when in difficult situations. Here are some self soothing ideas: look around for something positive within your eye sight, eat a favorite treat, drink a favorite non-alcoholic beverage, have a favorite scent within reach (essential oils are great for self soothing) watch a favorite show, listen to an audio book, and listen to soothing music. Bottom line is to be prepared to encounter difficult people and difficult situations that will need to be handled effectively.

3.)   Have a plan to decompress after the holidays before getting back into a routine. Some ideas could include reading a favorite book, sleeping in, taking a bubble bath, and taking an extra day off from work if needed. Remember that a lot of time and energy has been spent preparing for the holiday events, so it’s just as important to practice self-care and relaxation before returning to a baseline routine.

Above all, have fun and try to enjoy the holiday season. Most of our stressors come from lack of boundaries and high expectations from ourselves, from others, and from society; focus on what you can control and let all else go!

Have a happy and mindful holiday season!

Stephanie Shirley, LMSW