I want you to think for a moment… Over the past week how many arguments have you had with your kids? When I asked this question to my clients I usually get a response, “Oh man, I think like 20, maybe 30." Having arguments with your kids is not an uncommon battle that most parents experience. Here are a few tips that can help reduce arguments and bring more peace and harmony to the home. Let me introduce you to magic phrases. Here are a few that I use regularly:
1. Feel free to go and play with your friends once your homework is done.
2. What would work best for you cleaning your room or vacuuming the floor?
3. Would you rather weed the garden or clean the garage?
As you notice with these magic phrases the first part is most important. The parent is saying feel free to… then you fill in the blank. What would work best for you…. Then fill in the blank. Would you rather… then fill in the blank.
The reason why this is effective is because you are not saying NO!!
Here is another quick tip.
When your child is arguing with you and you start to notice things are getting heated simply say to your child “I love you too much to argue with you” or “I would be more than happy to talk to you when your voice is quiet like mine.”
Parenting is a difficult task, but don’t let it get you down. Our kids are counting on us!
Brett Hamptom, LCSW