Worrying Is Worthless

It is not uncommon for people to worry about the many different stressors in their life. We usually worry about something when it is important to us or when we are nervous about or want to change the outcome. Most of the time, in these situations there is not very much we can do and so we feel very helpless and like we lack control. When we worry, we feel like we are doing something, but this only zaps us of our energy, does not change the outcome, and increases our anxiety.

I like the metaphor of worry being a weed. The more you feed, take care of it, and water it, the more it grows. When you take such good care of something you will find that it begins to produce sticky leaves, painful stickers, creeping vines, and becomes so big that it will take over the whole garden, yard, and even begin to entwine itself up and over the house. If we don’t nurture and feed the weeds, then they will soon be less and less likely to grow and flourish and become dry and even disappear. No one wants to have so many weeds (worries) that they feel like they are being held down, overwhelmed, helpless, and become more and more anxious.

Here are a few pointers to manage worry and in turn decrease anxiety:

·         Be aware of your thoughts.

A thought is just a thought: We do not have to keep it or own it.

Thoughts are very powerful and although we may not realize this, our thoughts create our feelings. We need to be aware of our thoughts and check on them to see if we need to change what we are telling ourselves. Positive self-talk is very important.

·         Put the worry in a container, up on a shelf, or in a drawer.

Imagine what the container looks like and only you are in control of opening and closing it – For example: a chest under the ocean with chains around it and a mermaid guarding it or a locked safe and you are the only one that knows the code and can get in.

·         Get busy doing something and try to be mindful of what you are doing in that moment.

Do an activity or something that you know helps you feel more positive – (For example: Go for a walk and notice everything you see, hear, and smell around you, listen to upbeat music, watch a funny TV show, talk to someone you care about, or do something nice for someone else.)

·         Take one thing at a time.

Many times we have so much to do that it can become overwhelming. We can break these things down to smaller steps so they do not seem like such big tasks.

·         Give yourself a break.

Everyone makes mistakes and can have off days. The man at the store does not ask others if he needs a pencil with an eraser or without one. This is because we all make mistakes and now and then. It is how we talk to ourselves and what we choose to do with this that makes the difference.

Sue Rosenbaum, LCSW