(This post has previously been posted on Rehabilitative Health Service's Blog, but we felt it had relevance this month.)
Often time’s young adults come into my office and say things like “no one cares about me” “I feel controlled by my parents” and “I never have a say in what happens in my life.”
As kids are reporting this to me during sessions I start to wonder “Is this really happening or are they making it up to hopefully get what they want”. What I have found is that parents and or (adults) tend to seek and gain ALL control of those whom they are responsible for.
Sharing control with your kids is an art that takes time, patience, love and lots of empathy. Some people may say things like “If I don’t tell my kids what to do and how to do it then they will never do anything right. This technique sounds good and may work from time to time however, it is important to CONSULT with your kids and allow them the opportunity to think for them self’s.
Parents who consult with there kids create a open door for communication that will develop an even playing field in which the child will feel comfortable expressing there true thoughts and emotions. Kids want to be heard and know that what they have to say is important. What may seem trivial for you as the parent maybe huge or life changing for your child.
As parents, a goal should be to understand and know are children’s true feeling so we can help them with issues or difficulties they may face in there life’s journey.
Brett Hampton LCSW
Therapist at RHS
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