The holidays can be a happy and
joyous time for some and a stressful and dreadful time for others. We all
experience a level of expectation during the holiday season, yet our own inner
expectations can frequently result in added stress, anxiety, and sometimes,
even depression. The days ahead are filled with many events, including
attending family gatherings, buying the perfect gift for the difficult to
please family members, attending church events, attending school events, making
sure that all feel included in the holiday festivities, etc. I often hear
people express complete exhaustion and dread by the time Christmas comes
around, because of the amount of time they’ve spent running around making sure
that everything is in order for the big day. Coping ahead of the Christmas
holiday events and practicing mindfulness skills can help to alleviate stress
and anxiety, which also creates a level of peace during such a busy and often
chaotic time. Below are some pointers on coping ahead during this holiday
season:
1.)
Reduce personal expectations and work on being more
realistic about gift buying, holiday party attendance, holiday travel, etc. Set
limitations and communicate with others about what you are able to do and what
you are unable to do. Open and honest communication is key to reduce anxiety
and stress, particularly as it relates to perceived and real expectations
during the holiday season. Open and honest communication is also a great way to
set boundaries, which is crucial during the holiday season.
2.)
Have a game plan when spending time with difficult
people or when confronted with difficult situations. The holidays are a time
for celebration and gathering, which also means that you may have to spend time
with family members that can difficult to be around. You may also have to
travel or spend time running around to multiple family gatherings. Practice
acceptance and work towards being mindful of reactions to triggers when around
pesky and annoying family members or when confronted with other stressors. Have
a game plan to remove yourself from the room if necessary, take a walk,
practice deep breathing, practice gratitude for the challenging personality
you’ve encountered, and work on reducing reactions by focusing on something
positive. Grounding exercises can be helpful when around difficult people and
situations. I encourage my client to focus on self-soothing through their 5
senses to reduce their urge to react when in difficult situations. Here are
some self soothing ideas: look around for something positive within your eye
sight, eat a favorite treat, drink a favorite non-alcoholic beverage, have a
favorite scent within reach (essential oils are great for self soothing) watch
a favorite show, listen to an audio book, and listen to soothing music. Bottom
line is to be prepared to encounter difficult people and difficult situations
that will need to be handled effectively.
3.)
Have a plan to decompress after the holidays
before getting back into a routine. Some ideas could include reading a favorite
book, sleeping in, taking a bubble bath, and taking an extra day off from work
if needed. Remember that a lot of time and energy has been spent preparing for
the holiday events, so it’s just as important to practice self-care and
relaxation before returning to a baseline routine.
Above all, have fun and try to
enjoy the holiday season. Most of our stressors come from lack of boundaries
and high expectations from ourselves, from others, and from society; focus on
what you can control and let all else go!
Have a happy and mindful holiday season!
Stephanie Shirley, LMSW