Clean Slate

 It is the start of a new school year and fall is right around the corner.  It is a wonderful time of year to explore how we feel about our lives and identify some changes that we want to make.  The starting of anything in our lives gives us the opportunity of having, if you will, a “clean slate” moving forward.  As a human being, we look for this when a new year starts, when we have a birthday, or sometimes with each new day.  Giving ourselves this clean slate can be very refreshing and empowering.

     A few questions that we might ask ourselves are; how do I want my life to look moving forward, how do I want to view myself, or how do I want to be viewed by others?  These questions can be seen as a road map for developing new goals or benchmarks for ourselves.  When we set goals for ourselves it is important that they are small and obtainable.  How many of us set goals that are too big and then we get overwhelmed, discouraged, and then quit? This has happened to me many times in my life.  Think of a diet.  If we are extreme in our dieting we can be successful, but can we maintain that? Think of what maintenance looks like for you and then set goals that are obtainable to increase your success!

     So, think of what this school year and start of fall are like for you and how you want to move forward with your life.  Identify the positive small obtainable changes you want to make and move forward being the best YOU you can be!

 

April Moedl LCSW

LEGOS Aren’t Just for Play Anymore

One of the challenges when it comes to teaching skills and modifying behaviors is found in creating an environment where children are willing to learn and be open to self-expression.  Play therapy is an example of a productive way that children are able to interact in a way that is safe, comfortable and engaging, and allows them to express themselves though positive interactions with others.   Another type of play that is used collaboratively with play therapy, and which is gaining popularity, is Lego-based Therapy.  Lego-Based Therapy was developed in the mid-90s by a pediatric neuropsychologist by the name of Daniel LeGoff, who noticed two of his patients in his waiting room demonstrating positive social interactions during play with Legos that he hadn’t seen from them previously.  Initially it was designed for children with autism, but it has been found to help children with a variety of social and communication deficits.   

Lego-based Therapy is effective due to its structure in nature, as well as the social skills that are developed during play.  Putting together a Lego set in a therapeutic setting, or even coming up with an individualized patterns with multiple sets of bricks, allows the individual to engage in cooperative problem-solving, teaches positive social interactions, and allows them the opportunity to demonstrate appropriate social skills.  Some of these skills include collaborative problem-solving, taking turns, giving and following instructions, sharing, and giving and accepting feedback.  It also provides an opportunity to experience and demonstrate increased self-esteem and confidence when creating or building a set.  Lego-based Therapy can be done in a therapeutic setting but it can also be done in the home.  By providing roles such as a builder, engineer, or supplier, multiple family members can engage together in an activity that promotes positive interactions and connections with others.  So pull out your old Lego sets and start learning.  Legos aren’t just for play anymore!  

Megann Wilkerson, LMSW

Celebrating Disability Pride Month

I think there was something bigger at play when I happen to be the one assigning myself July to do the blog since I assign the blogs for all the counselors to do the blogs. Do you know that July is when we celebrate Disability Pride month? Probably not. We all know that June is when we celebrate LGBTQIA+, and Juneteenth, however, come July it’s not known unless you’re in the community yourself or close to someone in the disability community that it’s time to celebrate Disability Pride month.

Did you know that it was not until 1990 that Americans with Disability Act (ADA) was enacted?  That means if I was born at an earlier time, my rights, in so many areas, were not protected. Myself being a part of the community, made it important to me to bring awareness to this topic.

If you are not someone who is personally affected by a disability, here are ways that you can help those us who are affected by disabilities. If you own a business, make sure your workforce is up to ADA standards. Here is a checklist: https://www.adachecklist.org/doc/fullchecklist/ada-checklist.pdf. This checklist can be very intense; however, not all of it is going to apply to your workplace.

Be willing to have a conversation about disabilities. Do not be afraid to speak to someone who has a disability about what it is like to live with a disability. People are often so afraid of offending us, they see disabilities as a “dirty thing”, or just plainly afraid of the topic of disabilities that the topic is swept under the rug. We as a community are a part of this world as well, and you will never know when you may join it in some way hence why it is importance to have conversations to change how people with disabilities are treated.

Below are TEDTalks that are different presenters speaking about their various experiences with having a disability:

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_oulton_changing_the_way_we_talk_about_disability

https://www.ted.com/talks/yasmin_sheikh_disability_does_not_mean_inability

https://www.ted.com/talks/stella_young_i_m_not_your_inspiration_thank_you_very_much

 

Carmen Stites, LCPC, RPT

Name it, Claim it, Tame it

 Just as our body and skin needs to be fed and cared for in a healthy and responsible manner, our mind and soul need that same attention. We need to become aware of our thoughts, feelings and actions and being responsible for them.  This allows us to develop the ability to respond to life and others without the darkness of blame or shame. There is a simple guidance often used in therapy that goes, “Name it, claim it and tame it.” It refers to being able to identify or name our challenges, emotions, weaknesses or faults; claim them or accept them as our own; and taming them by learning to live with them, overcome them or transform them.

Name it… the Challenge
The first step is when we name the challenge. We may say we are angry about a situation but on further reflection we become aware that we are hurt or disappointed, therein naming the first or core feeling.

 

When we name or identify the feeling or perhaps the object of our fear, we make it conscious. It no longer sits in our subcortical brain – the realm of fears, fight, flight or freeze. It moves to the cortex where it can be known and processed. Then we begin the journey out of denial into acceptance.

In those moments when we feel overwhelmed with emotion, simply naming what we’re feeling can be helpful.  The process is exactly what it sounds like: when emotions arise, we try to describe our internal state without having to explain or rationalize whatever we’re feeling. This process promotes integration by strengthening our brain’s language capabilities and connecting them to the spontaneous and raw emotions in other parts of the brain. This neurological process helps us calm down and feel more balanced.

Claim it…Accept Responsibility
This is why the first step in 12 Step Programs is, “I admit I was powerless over _X_ and that my life had become unmanageable.” Once I identify (name) and accept (own) the situation, thought or feeling for what it is, I can take personal responsibility.

I become aware that the condition, situation, thought or feeling has nothing to do with anyone else but me. It is my response and perspective alone. This does not mean that I am assigning guilt, blame or shame to myself or anyone else. I am simply naming the challenge, accepting my response and role in the situation and now developing or learning to mindfully respond rather than act out of denial, blame, anger or any other previously learned behavioral pattern such as avoidance.

 

When describing our internal state, it’s helpful to remember an acronym developed by Siegel known as “SIFT.” SIFTing the mind involves taking time to sit with the emotion and try to identify any sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts we’re experiencing. In those intense instances when we’re triggered, we can pause to ask ourselves one by one what sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts are arising.

This straightforward exercise can offer a surprising amount of insight into any underlying stressors.

1.     Own it. Its ok to feel how you are feeling, don’t try to shut it down, rather allow it to move through you. Remind yourself that you can show up for yourself. SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF CAN LOOK LIKE ASKING YOURSELF…

a.     Right now I am feeling…..

b.     What can I do to help myself feel safe in this moment?

c.     What need do I have right now? (Ex: Space, verbal affirmations of love, just being present with the feeling….)

2.     Willingness to reach out to others when you feel shame

Who can you reach out to and talk about your shame responses with today?

3.     The ability to speak about shame- to describe your experience of shame to another person

Tame it …Tame the Response

Taming the automatic or unconscious response is developing the ability to respond in a non-destructive, non-judgmental  or non-violent manner. In this way we are getting to know and explore our Shadow, our dark side. These include our destructive thoughts, feelings, behaviors, prejudices, any disowned character vulnerability and the house of our shame.

To bring the light of awareness to these dark corners we use the tools which assist us in working out our emotions. This could be talking to trusted people; coping skills and strategies, releasing body tension; finding expression in drawing, writing, song, movement or any meaningful art form we have an affinity for which allows us to bring the unconscious to consciousness.

This is the area in which we employ the skills we developed from becoming aware of our feelings, thoughts and behaviors and consciously choosing to act with unconditional kindness and compassion.

Running from the reality of how we feel, the discomfort, fuels the pain and keeps it stagnant in our bodies. By recognizing it, naming it, and talking about it, it allows us to step back into our power enough to show up for ourselves.

 

Sara Hiatt, LCSW

Mental Health and Being Able to Use Technology to Help Us

We are living in a world of technology and sometimes it causes more stress than it is worth. I am looking at you Wi-Fi router when you decide to go out during the middle of a movie or during my training. That being said, there are great benefits to technology. I do love GPS, because I am hopeless at using a map even though I grew up at a time where reading maps is how you got around when you traveled. Heck, my father to this day will still use a map if he wants to figure out how to go somewhere before asking me to print out directions or use GPS, if I am not traveling with him.

With advancements in technology, how can we use it with our mental health? There are apps and websites out there that can help us in many different ways. For example, if you are wondering about what is triggering your anxiety symptoms, you can use an app to start tracking your symptoms. Being able to track whatever symptoms you are having allows you to be able to talk to your providers and help you manage those symptoms better.

There are also cons to these apps and websites of course. For example, they can be costly, having a fee yearly or monthly. Sometimes they can be complicated and not user friendly. It also can take a while to figure out which one works best for you.

Below is some websites that have suggestions of apps/websites:

https://www.verywellmind.com/best-mental-health-apps-4692902

https://parade.com/1053610/maureenmackey/best-mental-health-apps/

 

Carmen Stites, LCPC, RPT

Importance of Combining Therapy with Medications

As a society, sometimes we have become dependent on medications fixing our mental health issues or feeling as though if we take medications it will be good enough to help us. An important thing to keep in mind is if you are having emotional problems or biological problems. A way to be able to differentiate between the two is looking at your present life: have there been any new stressors, is there a recent event that came up as traumatic, am I coming close to the anniversary of something traumatic, am I overwhelmed, am I taking care of myself through self-care, or has there been a dramatic change in my daily life? If you said yes to any of these questions, your mental health issues may not be biological and are instead emotional. Emotional problems are resolved within therapy, versus biological problems are solved with medications. It can be extremely beneficial at times to combine both medications and therapy, but it can be harmful to depend on one or the other without looking at what the real issue is.

Carmen Stites, LCPC

The Power of Language

     We often hear the terms “an alcoholic” or “a schizophrenic” when someone describes another person. This is referred to as “Pathology-First Language”, where a label defines an individual with a medical or psychiatric condition. Ever since the Civil Rights Era, there has been a push to change the way we talk about people with disabilities, medical conditions, or psychiatric diagnoses. Pathology-First Language puts the diagnoses before the person or uses the term as a person’s entire identity. Critics of this form of language say that it is dehumanizing, stigmatizing, and limits a person to an adjective. In response to Pathology-First Language, Identity-First Language (IFL) or Person-First Language has been used.

    In IFL and Person-First Language, statements such as “a person with alcoholism” or “a person with schizophrenia” is utilized. Supporters of IFL/Person-First say that the action of putting a person before their diagnoses or condition is a form of social etiquette and does not define a person by what they may have. IFL/Person-First avoids using labels to define a person and allows us to separate a person from their condition or diagnosis. However, it is not as simple as one or the other. In some communities, a person’s diagnosis/condition is their everyday lived experience and shapes how they experience the world. Such as in with advocates in the autistic community. Some prefer “a person with autism” versus “an autistic” and vice versa. Pathology-First or Identity/Person-First Language will continue to be a topic of debate in our world, it is for those with the condition in question to decide how they would like to be described.

Anna Faffler, LPC

New Year, New You?

Every year when we hit January, we feel like we have to make those New Year’s resolutions. Sometimes we are able to keep that resolution for the whole year and sometimes we keep it for just a week. For many people the resolution is to make no resolutions, so they do not feel the guilt of breaking it within a week.

Babylonians are recorded to be the first people to make New Year’s resolutions about 4,000 years ago. Babylonians, along with those in Rome, used New Year’s resolutions as a means to please the Gods so that they may gain favors. In today’s society, we use New Year’s resolutions as self-improvement, which is one of the reasons it makes it difficult for us to keep our New Year’s resolutions.

Tips on how to be more successful in keeping your New Year’s resolutions:

• Don’t feel like you have to do it at New Year’s
• Keep it simple
• By picking a resolution that is too big, you are more likely not to want to keep going.
• Then, the more successful you are at what you’ve picked for yourself, you can start to increase/challenge yourself.

• Have a support system
• Pick something that is meaningful to you

Carmen Stites, LCPC