Attachment

With summertime finally here, we often find it much easier to engage in activities with our children. Outdoor activities are a great way to promote attachment.  What is attachment?  Why is it important?  How can we do more of it?

Attachment is the connection found in the main relationships in a child’s life.  It is most effective when it occurs with parents.  Children and parents are meant to form attachments with each other.  Studies show that infants prefer their caregiver’s face and voice more than any other sights and sounds. 

Attachment is important because it can build resilience and trust in your child.   A child who is secure in his/her attachments are more likely to stay away from addictive substances, abstain from impulsive and dangerous behaviors, and include his/her parents in choices and goals.  Additionally, a resilient child is able to ride through the storms of life with confidence and skills that build his/her character and contribute to strength and courage.

Building attachments with children is rather easy.  To quote the words of a poem from an unknown author: 

I tried to teach my child with books.

He gave me only puzzled looks.

I used clear words to discipline,

But I never seemed to win.

Despairingly, I turned aside.

“How shall I reach this child?” I cried.

Into my hand he put the key:

“Come,” he said, “Play with me.”

Children love to play.  So put your phone and devices away! Engage in wholesome family activities such as swimming, riding bikes, walks, basketball, tag, board games (NOT video games!).  Promote activities that build trust through safe touch, eye contact, and soothing gestures such as mirroring (copycat), piggyback rides, and peek a boo.  Let Google give you hundreds of ideas, and get out there with your children and attach! 

Very Young Trauma Survivors:  PTSD and the Role of Attachment https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/family/very_young_trauma_survivors.asp

Five Attachment Based activities to Strengthen Parent-Child Bonds        https://pro.psychcentral.com/child-therapist/2014/08/5-attachment-based-activities-to-strengthen-parent-child-relationships/

Liz R Harding, LMSW