“People who are inflicting harm on others really and truly do not know what they are doing to others. They are always acting out of there own feelings of anger and hatred. What they direct at others says nothing about the others. However, it says something very powerful about them. … Those people who have behaved toward you in any way which you find hurtful really and truly do not know what they have done to you… They are sending out their disharmony toward you because that is what they have to give away. Hating them for their behavior is akin to hating moss for growing on a tree and destroying the appearance of the tree. The moss only knows how to be moss, and regardless of your opinion about how it should not be behaving in such moss like ways, it will still continue doing all that it knows how to do.”
We can not judge ourselves based off of what others say about us. All that does is tell us who they are and what they think. We need to be judged off of our own actions and behaviors. Forgiveness is not saying that what they have done is okay or that we agree with it, it is simply the fact that we are no longer waiting for them to fix what they have broken because we understand they can’t. They have given what they have to give and it is up to us to move on, protected ourselves, find the skills that we need to be okay, and stop letting them hurt us. We are not going to spend more time waiting for them to be something that they are not. We can’t expected moss to produce beautiful flowers anymore then we can expected angry and hatefully people to give us love and strength.
Kristy Goodson, LMSW
*Forgiveness the healing gift we give ourselves by Cheryl Carson (pg 54)
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