Self Respect

What is respect? The Webster dictionary defines it as having high or special regards.  Most people learn respect in their homes, churches, youth organizations, etc., but it is tough for some people to understand what self-respect is and where it comes from.  Self-respect comes from within and not from our surroundings, achievements, or appearance. When a person respects himself or herself then others will respect them. To start respecting ourselves we first need to realize that we all have self-worth and are valuable no matter what.  No one can take away a person’s self-worth because it is something that we are all born with and it is important in helping a person define their path in life.  Let us take a dollar bill for example.  A dollar bill is worth $1, but if that dollar is stepped on, crumpled up, or ripped then how much is that dollar worth then?  The answer is that it is still worth $1.  The value of that dollar does not change because of what has happened to it.  That is just like us, we go through life and have experiences that are hard on us and they can leave visible and nonvisible scars. No matter what we have been through or what scars we have, we are still valuable and need to realize that so we can respect ourselves.  Once a person starts to respect himself or herself then others will start showing them more respect too, which will help that person be happier and go farther in life. 

 David Homer, LCSW

Building a New Life After Trauma

How is it that some people can thrive after a traumatic event and others seem to be stuck forever? Dr. Edith Egar survived living in a Nazi concentration camp. Following her liberation from Auschwtiz death camp, she has learned how to overcome the guilt and grief of surviving when so many others did not and she has liberated herself from her trauma. Dr. Egar has found a way to embrace hope and forgive others. Dr. Egar has four questions that she asks to help herself and her clients move forward and build a new life after experiencing trauma. The questions appear simple at first but one soon learns that answering them takes self-reflection and soul searching. The four questions are:

1. What do you want? This question is harder than it looks. To find an answer, it is necessary to look deep within, stripping away layers of self-delusions and the needs and wants of others.
2. Who wants it? Are we defining ourselves through the expectations of others?
3. What are you going to do about it? Dr. Egar notes that, “Anything we practice, we become better at. If we practice anger, we will have more anger. If we practice fear, we’ll have more fear.” Are we moving toward our goals, or spending lots of energy just spinning our wheels? “Change is about noticing what’s no longer working and stepping out of the familiar, imprisoning patterns.”
4.  When? Plans are great; but if we never start walking, we never reach our destination. Dr. Egar relates “If we are to evolve instead of revolve, it’s time to take action now.”

To learn more you can read Dr. Egar’s book The Choice or visit her website at https://dreditheger.com

by Tiffany Hayner LMSW