Acceptance

What does it mean to cultivate an acceptance attitude?  Have you ever been faced with a situation that seemed unfair and fought the reality of the situation without actually solving the core of the unfair situation? Certain situations sometimes call for a good fight, but we often reject reality by fighting and throwing tantrums without actually looking for healthy solutions to resolve the core issue being presented. Radical acceptance is a skill used when faced with painful and unfair situation. The following behaviors can be used when cultivating an attitude of acceptance:

1.  First identify the situation you are rejecting.
2.   Focus on reality as it is and stick to the facts. Also identify the events that caused the painful situation (every event or situation has a root cause).
3.  Recognize that rejecting reality and facts will not change reality, therefore, changing reality means to first accept reality.
4.  Recognize that pain cannot be avoided; its nature’s way of signaling that something is wrong.
5.  Practice acceptance with the mind, body, and spirit by surrendering. Use self-acceptance talk; use mindfulness of your breath and awareness of your thoughts and behaviors.
6.  Practice engaging in activities that act opposite of negative emotions and list all behaviors you would do if you did accept the facts. Act as if you have already accepted what has already happened. 

When practicing acceptance, also recognize that the path out of misery is through hell. You cannot avoid the pain of reality, but acceptance is the first step towards healing and focusing on healthy solutions to cope with distressing situations.

Stephanie Shirley, LCSW

Lineham, M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets (2^nd ed. pp. 342-344). New York; London: The Guilford Press.