Sometimes it is very hard for kids to remember to use skills
to help them feel calm if they are feeling stressed or angry. Many times, they
are struggling to express and communicate their feelings. It is very important
for all of us to be able to take a step back if we are getting frustrated and
our emotions are escalating. Strong emotions can take over and then we are in
trouble because they are running us and we are not in control anymore.
It is good for kids to learn skills to help them know it is
ok to take a break and implement tools they may need to help them get their
emotions lowered and their mind back on track. I am going to share a great way
to help kids do this and hopefully it will help you at the same time.
Helping kiddos make a Calming Skills Box to have in their
room or somewhere they would like in the house is a very helpful tool. You can
prompt them to use it as needed and talk to them about what they would like you
to do to help them remember to use the box.
Steps to create Calming Skills Box:
- Get a box (there are great picture boxes at the
craft stores or a shoebox would work well – whatever works for you).
- Let your child decorate the box so they can make
it their own. and write CALMING SKILLS BOX on the lid.
- Identify several skills that your child feels
would be helpful for them to take a break and increase their ability to feel
calm. Either print a picture of someone doing this skill or put the supplies to
use to complete this skill in the box.
Examples of skills:
o
Coloring (put crayons and coloring pages in the
box)
o
Deck of Card
o
Picture of someone taking deep breaths
o
Little notebook for a feelings journal and
pencil or pen
o
Picture of someone listening to music
o
Word search
o
Write a story
o
Picture of a calm relaxing place to imagine they
are in.
o
Picture of someone doing stretches
o
Pet their animal
o
Read positive quotes
Create a book or flip cards of the pictures to put into the
box so that your child can look at them. It is hard to remember what skills to
use if you are feeling nervous, scared, frustrated, sad or angry. Each child is
different so the skills will be different for each child. That is why it is
important to do this with your child and not just do it for them.
One of the most important parts of this tool is for us as
parents and adults to be able to take a step back too. We should not expect our
kids to do this if we are unable to. Then prompt your child to try to use the
box or remember some of the skills from the box and allow the child to use the
skills that you have been working on with them. I hope that these tools will
help you and your child manage stress and create good skills they can use for a
lifetime.
Sue Rosenbaum, LCSW